creativity block
September 13th, 2012
I haven’t been down in my studio for a good three months. Three months! You could call it creativity block or you could call it my own personal soul sucking, fear mongering, mental fog inducing, self-esteem deflating, psychosis making machine. Not to put too fine a point on it or anything.
I try not to ask myself why I tape flowers and leaves on the wall, or make my kids’ undies, or crochet cozies for our ottoman, because there is no satisfying answer. But questions do creep in: why not make something less ridiculous? why not make something that is actually profitable? why waste your time making silly things to show the internet? why do this when so many people do it better? why not use that expensive education of yours? Once the questions start, they don’t stop, and they become debilitating. Soul sucking now seems a more appropriate term than creativity block, don’t you think?
But making things, be it underwear, tools, flying suits, computer programs, or whatever, is what humans do. Our survival once depended on our ability to solve problems creatively. Now that drive is part of who we are and when the urge to make things goes unfulfilled we feel less human.
So I’m trying, trying to make things again, trying to feel human again. I know I hit these creative brick walls yearly and slam into them repeatedly until I find a ladder, but this time the ladder has been hard to find. I cleaned up my studio yesterday–even slapped some paint on the wall–hoping the ladder was there somewhere. Does this happen to you (hit a wall, let the sewing machine gather dust, avoid even thinking about making)? How do you get past it?
yes yes yes yes and more yes…I find the ladder when I really give up.
exactly.
Oh girl, you’re preaching to the choir. :)
I think the things you make are fabulous. Keep on making what you just can’t stop. That’s what you’re supposed to do.
it’s what I’m supposed to do, it’s what I’m supposed to do, it’s what I’m supposed to do. I think I’ll try to tell myself that all day.
I love the things you make and slap on the wall. It makes we wonder why I don’t slap things on the wall more often! Yes, I also get making-things-blocks (or whatever you want to call them). I tell myself to think less and just make something. Sometimes it’s flop, but I feel better when I get it over with and get to making.
I like to think of these times as the moment before “awesomeness” strikes. Thats what I tell myself anyways. “THe next thing I will want to make will be AWESOME!” Then I just watch a bunch of crap TV until I can’t stand it anymore.
I love your creativity, and your studio ju-ju will come back soon. I’ve been loving your instragrams this summer. :)
the next thing I want to make will be awesome. I need to frame that.
If I could have a do over I would think much longer and harder about that expensive education and maybe, I don’t know, let my husband have it. But I don’t have that luxury so I keep fumbling. I know you’ll find your ladder soon and so will I!
I love the things that you make. I am thankful that you upload them to the internet.
Here’s how I look at things…. I have no idea if how I look at things will help you. So it’s not so much advice as it is sharing my way of thinking.
I’m a professional designer (aka, there is no room for a creative block). In school I was constantly told to “trust the process”. A constant loop of research/concept/make/revise. I just keep going and don’t worry about the outcome. When you have clients/customers they’ll tell you what what works and what doesn’t. Otherwise, you can do just whatever you want. Don’t defeat yourself.
For work, about 90% of the work gets thrown away or never sees the light of day. It can get frustrating at times, but most of the time, I don’t care. I like making things. I like how I feel when I work on things. I feel calm and energized at the same time. It’s my greatest coping mechanism. It’s a comforting place to go and hide out.
Focus on your love the process of making things. Judging and evaluation are just part of the process. But, it’s not the end. It drives you to make the next thing and do it better.
Sarah, thank you! you see i am kinda where elsie marley is right now… and have been for a while. Do i have the expensive education? no. Did I ever even finish college? No. Do I sometimes wonder what i’ve done with my life? most definitely! But I know that no matter what I need to keep pressing on…. So thank you! Between the two of you, well you’ve given me the push i needed to get moving again! :)
I think it’s the making things that look like crap part that messes me up. I know it has to look bad before it can look good, but oof sometimes I can’t see where the good is.
I guess it just comes down to being kind to yourself.
You wouldn’t tell your kid – your project is crap, you failed. Instead you would say, you tried really hard, it’s good practice, lets make another, I had fun making this with you.
I usually find the wall when I want something bad enough but don’t have the money or can’t find the right thing and finally say, “I could make that!” ..and then I remember how much I like creating (until the next time I forget).
Oh wonderful talented Meg thanks so much for sharing this. Creativity is such a mysterious thing sometimes. One day it is born out of necessity and other days a lighting bolt of inspiration strikes. And then one day – silence. I definitely know all three of those scenarios well and things have been silent on my front too this summer.
To break my rut I usually force myself to do something small just to get my mind and hands moving. This usually spurs on ideas for bigger projects. And personally I found that making in order to blog about it was stiffling my creativity to make for the sake of making. So, I stopped blogging (but dany I miss sharing with a community).
Also, maybe this is a part of your process. If this is a familiar cycle maybe it’s necessary for your creativity to hibernate for awhile. Then come out swinging and making awesome things!
I think you’re amazing and thank you for sharing a glimpse into your process and letting others know they’re not alone on those silent days. Xox
Oh yes — I love Thea’s suggestion to make something with no intention of blogging about it. It takes the pressure off.
oh hibernate is a very good word for it–no crappy connotations, just a little creative nap.
Whenever I look at the quilt my grandmother made for me, and the dolls and bear made by my aunt, and the embroidered dishcloths, I am reminded that they love me. I hope that my own children will feel the same, now, and in the future. I also feel much better about making things than going shopping for low-quality, sweatshop-made, chemical doused things.
Thank you for you inspiration – I return to your wesite often, even when there are not any new posts, because you have a nicely packed archive of creative goodies, and because your posts are always honest.
right there with you. I was only thinking this a.m. (before reading this) when is KCWC? I need some inspiration and some 4T+ corduroys. Do something totally different and then come back. That’s one latter. Work for 10 minutes that’s another.
I meant ladder. Duh.
Those questions are soul-sucking for sure! I find myself asking them often enough (especially the, “Why do you make this when so many other people would make it better? And cooler?”) and it sucks the soul out of me too. I’ve been busy writing a sewing book for the past several months and almost every day I can’t help but think, “But I’m not an expert! What am I doing writing a book?!” And I’ve learned that I just have answer back that, even though these ideas have been rolling around in my head for months does NOT mean that they’re old and stale and that anyone could just think them up and execute the writing in the same way I can. Maybe someone else COULD make it better. In fact, probably a lot of people could make it better. But none of those people could make it the way I’ve dreamed up in my head. At least, not until I finish the book. :) So keep plugging away. Nobody’s “youer than you.”
a book! that’s fantastic! I want to hear more, Katie!
Oh man. This totally happens to me, and often in the middle of a project. Ahem.
What I do to break out of it is just spend time in that room. Read a book. Reorganize. Flip through pattern books. Reorganize again. Look at unfinished projects and say “hey! I could be done with that in 15 minutes!” And then it starts again. The urge to make. Rinse and repeat.
When I am stuck I try something new, some kind of craft I’ve never done before. There’s no pressure for it to be good, because it’s just my first try, and the excitement of a whole new medium gets me going again and opens up new possibilities.
maybe that’s why I checked out a how to knit book from the library :)
I hear/feel you. If you don’t want to, you don’t want to. If you’re not doing it, it’s because there are other things you want to spend your time on. Laying guilt on myself only makes it worse for me. I think cleaning your work space is a great step forward. Let go of what you “should” be doing and think about what you want to do– something I’ve been working on, and something Adrianna and I were just having a conversation about this morning.
“Now that drive is part of who we are and when the urge to make things goes unfulfilled we feel less human.”
Yes. I feel that way too. That one sentence sums up much of the frustration and sadness that regularly creeps into my life.
I’m currently in a period of forced creativity for work and it’s invigorating. I’m solving creative problems constantly — when I’m working, of course, but also in the shower, the car, at the playground watching my kids climb, when I lay in bed at night and my eyes won’t close. It’s spilling over into other aspects of my life and I’m frustrated by a lack of time and the need to prioritize making dinner and bathing my children along with every other mundane thing, but damn if I don’t feel human.
I know this is the opposite of your current problem but maybe there’s a nugget in there? Can you force creative activity on yourself? Do some rote projects to get the juices flowing? Just a thought…
Wendy, I know that feeling too! It is invigorating, but can be overwhelming too.
i hear you. loud and clear.
hang in there, it comes back.
“I try not to ask myself why I tape flowers and leaves on the wall, or make my kids’ undies, or crochet cozies for our ottoman, because there is no satisfying answer. But questions do creep in: why not make something less ridiculous?”
Meg, if these thoughts come into your head, please remember, the answer is, “Because it is awesome.” I love your creativity. I have been so inspired here over the years. You’re an artist. Your palette may be your kids, their walls, your ottoman, or whatever. It’s all art. And that’s never ridiculous. But I know exactly these demons you speak of. I haven’t picked up my camera in weeks. But I’ve been thinking about it. That’s always a start.
*like*
I think just start. You know make something random that somebody needs, like a library bag and before you know it you’ve made a bunch of potholders for Christmas and then slowly the cogs begin to turn and you are back in the groove.
Sometimes I just need to find another outlet when I’m feeling burned out in the sewing room. Heading out with my camera, or doodling in a sketchbook, or writing a short, daily journal entry can shake things back into place. I haven’t blogged nearly as much these past few years, but have been far more creative in every area of my life, including my sewing. I realized that I love making things, but setting up a photo shoot is not something I’m passionate about.
Also, if I’ve run out of sewing mojo, sometimes I will make a stupid little tote bag out of scrap fabric. Just getting something under the presser foot, remembering the hum of that little engine, putting the thread nippers next to the pin bowl again — my hands remember what to do, and by default my brain goes with it. You can probably count my creative sewing blocks by the number of tote bags in my house!
Don’t doubt yourself. You’ve contributed a lot and will get back in your groove soon enough.
The questions of a true artist is what I would say. You do what you do because it’s who you are, and you can’t know where it might lead. Keep on keepin’ on!
Oh Meg, nothing you posted here ever registered with me as ridiculous or silly! You use your spare time creating instead of consuming, what could be better. How many people are in self-doubt because at the end of a long day they turn on the TV instead of the sewing machine? And I can personally attest to the fact that an expensive education has never barred anybody from sewing kiddo underwear. Keeping on making!
“To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven,” to quote The Byrds, who were quoting Ecclesiastes. There are times to sew and sow and times to tape and reap and weep and on it goes. Can’t do it all at once, despite how much we think we should or could or would. So don’t beat yourself up about not sewing, because this is maybe not your sewing season right now. As others have said, keep doing other stuff. Inspiration comes from living life — going for walks, telling stories, serving others. And creativity definitely finds form in things other than sewing — in how you parent and love and bake and teach and listen…And as for using your education, well, that’s the freak out we all can have sometimes — like we’re not contributing properly to the world or something — if we don’t get a “real” job. I took an education because I loved to learn and because I was always curious. I never had a job plan in mind upon my completion (and a very long process it was — I have way too much education!) — I just followed my interests, my bliss. And as I juggle three wee beasties under the age of 4 these days, well, I draw upon my education and use it daily in my interactions — in how I mediate and teach and love and learn. No, I’m not making money with it, not lecturing at a university like I maybe once envisioned, but I do get to stand in a forest and look at snails and identify trees and sing songs and tell stories and break up fights and put that PhD to good practical use (-; So, just take care and give yourself time.
Amen to that! :)
What wonderful comments from all you women–such good insights into life and its creative impulses. You’ve even got me thinking about digging out the sewing machine!
Oh, I know this spiral so well. In the end, I try and come to terms with accepting that just ‘creating’ anything is nourishing and productive – whether it’s a quilt, a painting, or an apple pie. I think the act of making is what is important to me. Also, I find that cleaning my desk and bins always helps – I find a scrap of paper that inspires me, or a pattern while flipping through an old, forgotten book. Or, an afternoon at the Met. That’s the best.
I love seeing what you do, so know your projects are making someone happy :) !
I have been sewing regularly for almost three years and it’s only been recently that I’ve hit a slump like never before. Before, I’d feel uninspired for a week or two. But for the last few months, sewing just hasn’t excited me like it once did. I’ve even found myself choosing things like cleaning over sewing. Yikes! It’s bad. I think my creative juices have been flowing to other things – playing with my kids, reading, cooking, photography. Maybe I can’t have it all at once? Hope my sewing slump ends soon.