August 6th, 2014
I started sewing clothes for my kids 6 years ago. These pants are actually the first thing I ever made! Part of me is very proud at how far I’ve come. That up there is a by god homemade swimsuit! But then another part of me is disappointed with my sloth-like pace.
If I had know it would take 6 years to become a confident sewer, would I have started? And really I’m only a confident sewer when it comes to making children’s clothes. Quilts, zippers, and especially grown up garments still scare the shit out of me.
At the same time I was starting to sew kids clothes, I was starting to sew my own. Those drawstring pjs in the post with my first handmade kid pants? I still wear them (and they continue to be like “drawstring bags for your legs and about that flattering”). Right around that time I made this dress and it still hangs, unhemmed, in my studio. I learn slowly. And more to the point I gain confidence slowly.
The newness of an unknown skill is scary. The vulnerability you feel in the face of failure is unsettling. The courage to overcome your self-doubt is difficult to find. The strength seemingly comes out of nowhere for others. And fast. I take tiny steps towards new skills, new materials, new ideas.
I feel like I have to live up to the frenetic pace of the internet. NEW THINGS ALL THE TIME! OR AT LEAST NEWISH THINGS SLIGHTLY RE-HASHED! ALL THE DAMN TIME! But I can’t. I don’t have a pattern coming out, or a fabric line, or a mash-up pattern collective/fabric line. I am learning how to sew one thing at time.